Former England captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the condition.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and not wanting to really process that at the present time," he said.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his current health, his family and getting ready for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's surprise or perhaps I handle situations uniquely, and once I have the details, it's simpler," he stated further.
First Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some weakness in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the condition, a number of scans indicated nerves in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're understandably extremely moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't sense poorly
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the hand and the upper arm.
"I remain competent to doing anything and everything. And optimistically that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Condition Advancement
MND can develop swiftly.
As per the charity MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and more than half within two years of identification, as swallowing and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only retard worsening.
"It's never me that I am upset for," commented an moved Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Consequences
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he spoke about telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody said.
"We were seated on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and began removing the drops off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody explained the priority was remaining in the present.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be so militantly directed on just embracing and appreciating all aspects now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been very fortunate that the sole decision I made when I left playing was to devote as much time with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those periods back."
Sportsman Link
Elite competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with studies suggesting the prevalence of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the wider community.
It is thought that by limiting the air available and producing harm to motor neurone cells, frequent, intense training can trigger the condition in those previously vulnerable.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his brave, unwavering style to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a practice altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a training equipment and commenced participating in physical contacts.
After coming on as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the throw-in in the crucial phase of play, establishing a base for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the victory-securing drop kick.
Assistance Community
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a handful of other ex- players about his medical situation, but the others will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a moment when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the present, just having that kind of care and acknowledgment that people are available is all that matters," he stated.
"The sport is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it finished now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to call your enthusiasm your vocation, it's one of the most significant honors.
"Achieving this for so long a duration with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will wish to help in any way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
